I’m taking a new approach – addressing this as if it were an actual reality show, as if the women could see what we’re saying, and take it to heart. Here’s what I want to say to Hailey.

Oh Hailey,

How difficult it must be, to suddenly be facing this decision alone, when you’ve relied on Jason for so much. I’m so sorry you’re in this position.

You asked Dr Patterson about making right decisions, and he told you it can be difficult. He’s right, it’s difficult. And sometimes, there isn’t really a “right decision” because every choice seems to contain a little bit of right, and a little bit of wrong. No one is ever ready to make those sorts of decisions. No one ever wants to make them. But sometimes, the responsibility falls to us, and we make the best decision we can.

Making the best decision means using all of the tools at our disposal. One tool is talking to people who care about us and who are involved, like Jason. Another tool is talking with people who can provide us with objective opinions and information, like Dr Patterson, or a counselor. Logic is a powerful tool, that you’ve mentioned, too. And Jason has helped you with that one. You’ve done all of those things, and that’s good.

But Hailey, you seem to be dismissing a very important tool… yourself. Your emotions, your feelings, what *you* believe and need and want. These things are part of the picture, a valuable part. You see your emotional nature as a negative, when it may well be one of your strengths. Don’t be so eager to dismiss that, in favor of pure logic. How sad the world would be if we only made logical choices!

To make the best of these difficult decisions, we have to balance logic and emotion, outside information and our own internal insights.

It’s that balance of logic and emotion, of balanced insight, that will make you a good nurse. And it’s that balance that will help you make the best decision you can, now, too. You are smart enough for this, Hailey. You’re smart enough for this to be YOUR choice. I don’t really know you, but somehow I believe in you.

Just Jane Doe

Jason certainly knows Hailey well, he nails her every reaction. And he doesn’t seem all that comfortable with backing off and giving her space, it seems difficult for him. I just can’t get past the falling in a hole analogy; he seems to be saying that she carries the sole responsiblity for her pregnancies. Last time I checked it still took two. This is a recurring theme in our contraceptive culture: the woman gets pregnant, the man gets mad. Contraception fails, it’s her fault. The sexual revolution that promised women so much freedom has in reality taken something that was precious – a woman’s sexuality – and made it cheap, while piling yet another burden onto her shoulders. And she’s too blind to see it.

It’s a shame that this new video player does not work as well as the previous one used; the video was extremely choppy and did not follow the voice track!

I am glad that Jason is giving Hayley some space, she really needs it. I hope that when she knows what is the right move to take, he will let her use his opinion too because the baby is not just her responsibility- it’s theirs.

Hailey needs to make whatever decision is best for herself regardless of what Jason thinks. He says he loves her and that he will support whatever decision she makes, but he has also made it very clear at this point that he will really only support her if she choses abortion. Even after she makes the decision he wants there could be huge ramifications for their relationship. Hailey seems to want to keep the baby. She is going to be a nurse so she probably is naturally a very nurturing person. She will likely regret the abortion and start to feel resentful of Jason for making her do it. This relationship will not last, no matter what decision she makes.
I relate to Hailey so much because it was not long ago that I was in her exact position. My boyfriend at the time said that he loved me and would support any decision I made regarding the pregnancy. He also made it quite clear that he wanted me to have an abortion. I did not really want to do it, but I also did not want to “ruin his life” like he told me I would if i kept the baby. I was young and codependent so I did what he told me to. When I got home from the abortion I received a text from him breaking up with me. Now I am stuck living with the guilt and regret from my decision. This is a decision that will stay with her for the rest of her life, so she needs to think not only about the effects it will have on her immediate life but what decision she will be able to live with long term.