Episode 9: The Way People Talk

When the crew brings an uninvited guest to Dr. Patterson’s home, Katie gets caught in the crossfire.

117 Responses to “Episode 9: The Way People Talk”

  1. admin says:

    To Our Audience -

    Bump+ The Show has come to an end – but the conversation it has sparked is just beginning.

    As word about Bump+ spread to 64 countries across the globe, controversy and criticism from people on both sides of the debate followed; but instead of listening to them, you found the courage to listen to each other. Six weeks and more than 125,000 site visits later, your responses not only to our characters, but also to each other has proved to the world what we suspected all along – we were right to trust in the goodness and intelligence of our audience. We are intensely humbled by the stories you’ve shared and the respect you have shown to each other. Your partnership has challenged us to see this debate in new ways, and reminded the world that we don’t have to agree to listen and respond with compassion. Thank you for that gift.

    Comments on individual episodes have now been closed in order to preserve what was The Bump Experience as it unfolded. A new comment thread has been opened here to keep the conversation going. Please visit this link to share your story and join the conversation.

  2. Just Jane Doe says:

    Hi Carpe,

    I haven’t forgotten. I’m asking the producers to put us in touch more directly, but it may be a while as their end-of-the-show madness winds down. And it will still be a while until my ideas fully gel. Your title is great! It leads in a different direction than what I have envisioned, but there’s lots of room on this topic for people to follow multiple paths :)

    I’m sure we’ll be in touch soon!

    • Just Jane Doe says:

      Well, that reply didn’t go where I’d intended. So I’ll say this about the episode, again, to keep this on topic for new commentors.

      For me this segment still summarizes the entire abortion debate and all of the communication difficulties so beautifully. These people, a physician, a priest and a producer, they all wanted to help Katie. Yet somehow, they were each so focused on their abstract take on the topic, no one seemed to notice that her real issues were somehow never directly addressed.

      Tragic, that.

  3. Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

  4. Carpe Diem says:

    Great analysis Sister! I agree completely and believe you are spot on! Someone needs to reach this girl, before she reacts from a state of panic and does something that she will likely regret.

    Maybe you are on to something here. Both sides seem to agree that we don’t want women to choose abortion when and if they are in a panic situation, so we may have found a start to a workable solution to unintended pregnancies as the producers desired. Implementation may be the hang up however. If our goal is to reduce the number of abortions, then it would stand to reason that if we can get women to think about the possible scenarios which could happen and pre-determine ahead of time how they will respond, maybe then they won’t do something irrational when in the fear and panic stage. I think we can begin the conversation by helping women understand and fully explore the consequences of having sex when they don’t wish to become pregnant. With any risk there can be great reward but there should also be great responsibility. Maybe if we can elevate the character trait of responsibility and help people to see the value of a responsible society, we can begin to be more consistent in our approach.

    First, however, I think we need to explore possible answers to the question, how do you reach a generation that listens with their eyes and thinks with their feelings? I think Bump+ is a good start in that direction.

    Secondly, you bring up an urgent problem in our society. The process of secularization: the process by which religious ideas, institutions and interpretations have lost their social significance. When ones world view is anything to do with religion, then anything they have to say is discounted before they even start. How do we arrive at an objective moral law with pluralization: where we have a competing number of world views available and no one world view is dominant? As I have stated in another post, it’s wonderful to hear counter perspectives and be compelled to measure and evaluate your own perspective even to the point of discomfort. HOWEVER, if pluralism is extrapolated into meaning moral relativism, that’s when the danger signs begin. PLURALISM BREEDS MORAL RELATIVISM! I find so many well intentioned people who are really living on borrowed capital – whereby they enjoy living in a world that is grounded on morals and truth (to prove this, just steal their stereo, I’m sure they would object), but deny the originator of truth and morality. The conscientious Christian must lovingly expose this tension. Not an easy task to be sure.

    Lastly, you mention that she should follow her heart. May I submit, that the heart can lead us places we don’t wish to go simply because we don’t really know our hearts. You of all people are undoubtedly familiar with Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who can know it?” Only God really knows our hearts and He often times uses life’s trials to expose to us what is truly in our hearts. Life is so much about our limited perspective. We can choose to see the positive in the situation or the negative. These good decisions unfortunately don’t come naturally and we live in a society that tells us to follow our heart, rather than teaching us to choose to lead it. The heart will pursue what feels right at the moment. Would it not be better if we, as a society, can choose to lead our hearts toward what is best in the long run?

    That being said, I do think we need to encourage her to think deeply on the entire situation and it seems a shame that she can’t seem to find someone to walk that out with her. As you mentioned she needs to make this decision on her own, but may I submit, not by herself. As many have mentioned on this site, no man is an island, we all need each other. And it is at precisely these moments when a thoughtful, compassionate and truthful companion can help us discover what might not be visible at the moment and help us enter a place that only true hope can reveal.

    • Carpe Diem says:

      The above comment was supposed to be a response to Sister Mary Agnes’s comment at the bottom of the thread. Sorry

    • Florentius says:

      Dear Carpe Diem,

      Wow. This may have been the best post I have read on the Bump+ boards yet.

      You wrote: “I find so many well intentioned people who are really living on borrowed capital – whereby they enjoy living in a world that is grounded on morals and truth but deny the originator of truth and morality.”

      That’s it in a nutshell. You’ve completely nailed it. One wonders what our country will be like when that stored up capital runs out. The prospect is not comforting.

      You wrote: “May I submit, that the heart can lead us places we don’t wish to go simply because we don’t really know our hearts. You of all people are undoubtedly familiar with Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who can know it?””

      That was in the readings for daily Mass yesterday and it struck me as well. Again, you have nailed it. Telling people to listen to their hearts is not always good advice–particularly if that person’s heart is not turned toward God. It is so easy to mistake the promptings of purely selfish desires to the inspiration of the heart.

      Thank you so much for this brilliantly thought-out and well written post!

      • Carpe Diem says:

        Thank you Florentius for your kind words but I hope that my comment was not taken so much as an admonition to the Sister as it was for a call for us all to realize the need for other’s to help us truly see the depth of our character through the careful examination of the true state of our hearts. I can see in retrospect how it may have come off as that when I said, “you of all people” in that post. I didn’t mean that as a chastisement, I was merely appealing to her religious sensibilities. I sincerely hope that the Sister can take it in the loving way I meant it.

        • Dear Carpe Diem,

          Thank you for your thorough response to my comment, which I was sure no one would ever read because for some reason it went to the bottom of the thread instead of near the top with the comments that were current the day I posted it!

          When I used the language about Katie following her heart, I was trying to choose words that pro choice people and that people who are very immersed in our culture could hear and relate to. I have committed myself with Bump to really try to engage pro choice people and people on the fence about abortion in ways that may bring a mutual understanding on some points. You are right, it is a challenge to find the right words.

          Your comment is much more thorough & deeper & more precise than mine. You bring up in much greater detail very important points: I am glad you did and am not offended in any way.

        • Florentius says:

          For what it’s worth, I didn’t take your post as an admonition of Sister at all.

        • Carpe Diem says:

          Dear Sister Mary Agnes,

          Point taken. I had a hunch that’s exactly what you were doing, you have a knack for being like Paul who was able to be all things to all men so that he might win a few to Christ. I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU! And that is precisely what the producers are calling us to do… to listen to learn and to speak to communicate. I get it. I wasn’t saying it so much for your benefit as for hopefully some others who might consider the perspective. I’m glad you weren’t offended and I hope other won’t be as well.

  5. Vikki says:

    An old high school friend showed up work yesterday. The last time I saw her was 18 years ago. She and I were both 19. Lauren received an early discharge from the Army, this was just after Desert Storm, because she was pregnant.

    At 18, she fell for another soldier who was 10 years older than she and neglected to tell Lauren that he was married and a father of two.

    The last time I talked to Lauren, it was the day her daughter was born. Her parents disowned her, the father denied he had any responsibility and her future just looked absolutely horrible. If memory serves, I think she moved into a crappy apartment with her sister, who was also disowned because she came out of the closet.

    For some reason, we lost track of each other all these years until recently, thanks to Facebook. Lauren showed up today to say “hey”. She looked wonderful, carrying her two year old son. She’s happy, married with three kids.

    If I had asked her 18 years ago in that hospital room what she hope she had for the future, she wouldn’t have been able to answer me. I have no idea what happened to her between then and now. We’ll get together in the coming weeks and I hope to hear her story.

    She could have very easily made the decision to end her pregnancy, but she didn’t. And life looked pretty horrible. Neither one of us could have fathomed things turning out the way they have.

    Just makes me think about how scared we can get in situations and make a decision because we can’t fathom life improving beyond our current situation.

    • Carpe Diem says:

      Vikki,

      Thank you so much for sharing this great story of your friend. It just goes to show us what can happen if we give hope a chance. Please tell Lauren that I think she is a hero both for selflessly serving her country and for selflessly owning up to her responsibility despite the fact that the guy would not. Good for her!