Hailey Kirsch, a fresh-faced sorority girl, has had every advantage in life except someone who believes in her potential. At the distinguished university she attends, she has discovered a fascination with the medical field and is beginning to think seriously about a nursing career. She’s also discovered Jason George. They’re the perfect couple, dedicated to supporting each other. For Hailey, BUMP+ is an experience that might help them both realize their dreams.
Do you know someone like Hailey? Do you have any advice for her?
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As word about Bump+ spread to 64 countries across the globe, controversy and criticism from people on both sides of the debate followed; but instead of listening to them, you found the courage to listen to each other. Six weeks and more than 125,000 site visits later, your responses not only to our characters, but also to each other has proved to the world what we suspected all along – we were right to trust in the goodness and intelligence of our audience. We are intensely humbled by the stories you’ve shared and the respect you have shown to each other. Your partnership has challenged us to see this debate in new ways, and reminded the world that we don’t have to agree to listen and respond with compassion. Thank you for that gift.
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I think Hailey is the most relateable on the show. I mean, I guess most people know a girl like her in some way or another. Maybe Katie too. Anyway, initially I didn’t like her but now that you can kind of see she’s human and not so ditsy I’m starting to care more what happens. I still don’t have an opinion of what she should do, I am pro choice however. I’d like see the next episode and how the ultrasound aftermath.
the after math of having abortion doesnt always hit right away. sometimes it can be 15years before you come to grips with the reality of what you have done. But YOU WILL experience the truth. Abortion i selfish. What about the baby and his or her thoughts and feelings? What if our parents had decided to abort us?
You wouldn’t know if your parents aborted you because you wouldn’t be here today =)
Try saying outloud to yourself “fifteen years down the road, your baby is going to regret you for aborting him/her/intersex/whatever”. Doesn’t make much sense does it?
There isn’t even a story here, because such a story is impossible except in the imagination.
Good point. An abortion is the end of the story for the baby. The victim can’t regret. Does that make it ok? [THIS COMMENT HAS BEEN EDITED]
Dear KPH, I think you may be confused about Nicole not having a story here. She did post her story, 1 minute before she posted the extra thought that she added to it which is above and which you replied to. Her story is below. In many faith traditions (an it sounds like Nicole’s is one of them) people believe in life after death. So Nicole is expressing the thought that her baby does exist, in heaven or at least in a peaceful state some people call “limbo.” How does that baby feel, and what does that baby think about being aborted by its mother?
Nicole is asking a thought provoking question: a question that probably would not make sense to people who do not believe in life after death, or to people who do not believe a human person with a soul is there yet when the fetus is aborted. Nicole’s story and comment show how a person’s religious beliefs can shape the way think about and respond to the whole abortion question–a very important thing for all of us to keep in mind as we engage in this conversation, which welcomes people from every opinion and faith tradition.
Nicole, Thank you for sharing your story, which is such a beautiful testimony of God’s love and forgiveness–and His careful watch over you from even before your abortion.
My name is Nicole I am 23 years old and I regret my abortion.
At the time of my abortion I was 22. I was in a verbally abusive and what soon turned into a physically abusive relationship with my then boyfriend. I had gotten pregnant. I was scared and I didn’t know where to go or what to do. Like you, I too thought I was alone.
My boyfriend suggested I get an abortion because he wasn’t ready. I love kids and have always dreamed of having them. How could I raise a child on my own? There should be two parents. I cried alone that night in my bed, too afraid to tell my parents, my family, not even my best friend. I was ashamed that I had gotten pregnant outside of marriage and felt that I would be an embarrassment to my family. I called the clinic (Planned Parenthood) and made all the arrangements. I thought this was the easy way out. After all, who would find out? I took the RU-486 pill. I was unaware at the time that I was blessed and protected by God because I later learned of all the complications and deaths from the pill…
It was a beautiful sunny day, not a cloud in the sky as I drove myself and my boyfriend to the clinic in May of 2008; a day I will never forget. Two DAYS BEFORE MOTHER’S DAY, I took that the first pill and one day before, I had aborted my child. I started cramping and I ran to the toilet. All I remember is holding the tissue paper drenched with blood dripping all over my hands and looking at the tissue paper at what appeared to be a “BLOB” as the PLANNED PARENTHOOD employees so nicely put it. That “BLOB” turned out to be my baby. I took the tissue paper with the eight-week-old fetus and threw it in the toilet and flushed it. It wasn’t until a couple days later that I realized what I had done. I had just held my eight-week-old baby and then flushed it down the toilet like a dead goldfish.
I became numb, distant, depressed. I had recently started a new job and had no friends for the first 8-10 months of working there. I pushed everyone away. I thought I was alone. I didn’t know where to turn.
You see, Planned Parenthood made me feel like what I was going through was “not normal. “ They said it was a blob and that it was not anything, that I was “DOING THE RIGHT THING.” But it was something, it was not an it, it was my baby who was developed, who had hands, feet, and a heartbeat.
My depression got so bad I wanted to die. I believed all the lies I was fed. I ignored God. Keeping silent almost killed me. I had came up with a plan to end my life. I was so scared I’d kill myself. I felt I became a danger to myself and others because at any moment I knew I could snap. I wanted to stop the pain. I wanted to stop the suffering the self torment the hatred I had for myself. “How could I kill my child? I was a murderer. God will never forgive you. Your family will hate you.” The words seemed to be whispered in my ears over and over like a broken record. The images flashed before me like a never-ending horror movie. I felt like Bill Murray in “Groundhog Day.” I seemed to relive that day over and over again. I didn’t’ know how else to end it all but to die. I blamed God. I hated God. I asked HIM everyday… “WHY DIDNT YOU STOP ME? WHY DIDNT YOU GIVE ME A WAY OUT? WHY DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?”…HE replied “I DID TRY BUT YOU CHOSE TO IGNORE ME.”
You see, three years prior God knew what was going to happen. One day at work, I saw a flyer for a Christian Pregnancy Crisis Help Center; at the time I didn’t know why but I picked it up and brought it home and hung it on the fridge. Little did I know what the flyer truly meant to me and my life. Before I had the abortion, I saw the flyer on the fridge and God was right–HE gave me a way out and I IGNORED HIM! I looked at the flyer, there on the fridge, the day I found out I was pregnant. Instead of calling them I made my call to Planned Parenthood.
A couple months later, I remember grabbing the flyer off the fridge, yelling at God and getting into my car. I was headed to work but didn’t plan on making it that far. I started to cry uncontrollably. I wanted to die I thought today is the day to end the pain. But God had other plans for my life… Something made me pull over–that something was GOD. I started crying out to God for forgiveness for mercy for help I looked over and the flyer was on the passenger seat. I picked it up and called the number. To my surprise they offered after-abortion counseling. That call saved my life. God never left my side; He was there with me watching over me protecting me. I owe Him my life. I started the counseling and went through a couple-month program. I received Healing and learned God loves me and has a purpose for my life as HE does for yours….I have never been happier now that I have God. It’s a satisfaction, a fulfillment that can only be done though HIM. I am truly blessed and can now continue on with my life.
You see. You’re not alone. Don’t believe the lies the media and the clinics try to portray. It is NORMAL to feel the way you do. Abortion is a trauma, it is a death. It is normal to go through the stages of grief. Just remember you are not alone and you can be forgiven. There is hope. Our God is a merciful God. Slow to anger, He loves each and everyone of us and wants you to turn to HIM. He can help you.
GOD CAN END THE SUFFERING. HE CAN TAKE AWAY THE PAIN.
“Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands. – (Deuteronomy 7:9)
The Bible says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)
“Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.” (Acts 3:19)
I had my first abortion at 15 . . . the pregnancy was the result of sexual abuse by my brother. When I was 18, I became pregnant during an affair with a married man – it seemed “easy” to have another abortion; he cried more than I did. I didn’t see any other “choice”.
My next pregnancy was early in my marriage, and ended in miscarriage. This sent me swirling into depression – I was sure that somehow God or the universe was “getting even” with me for having aborted. Psychologically and emotionally it was a nightmare.
The following year I became pregnant again, and my first daughter was born. I had spent some time in therapy, and in pursuing a relationship with God, so I had dealt with a lot of the guilt I felt over ending the life of two of my children, but as my baby moved and grew inside me, I would often think of how they would have also, if I hadn’t aborted. Nobody suggested these thoughts to me – they just happened as I went through the pregnancy.
Fast forward 20 years: my first daughter was 20, my second 16, my son 7 and my youngest daughter 4 – at 42 I found myself unexpectedly pregnant again. My husband was in shock – he just withdrew. The thought of having one more . . . and so late in life . . . I prayed to miscarry . . .
Then my thoughts became centered on this truth: yes, my life was about to be upended; yes, it was going to be a lot of work, but this was a person, and their life had meaning and significance too. It wasn’t all about me – it was also about them. We would have another 18 years of on the job work to do, but he/she had a lifetime to live and contribute to the world. There were no further thoughts of miscarriage or choice – it was time to accept and prepare for this new life.
She is 7 years old now, and not a one of us could imagine our family complete without her. She, like the other kids, is bright, intelligent, funny, tender-hearted – she is an incredible presence, and her future is wide-open. I’ll be 50 this year, and my kids are 27, 24, 13,11 and 7, my first grandbaby is 1 and the second arrives this July.
Life is amazing – EVERY life is amazing! What seems like a crisis is actually a turn in the road to a life you could never have imagined – embrace it and embrace your child . . . you will never be the same, IN A GOOD WAY!!!
I think it is really interesting when women become anti-choice after having an abortion themselves. Often the explanation is along the lines of “now that time has passed and I’ve had children I see what a blessing they are.” I wonder, didn’t the choice you made then contribute to your life now? So when you find youself now feeling blessed for what you have, wasn’t the right to choose when and how you had children part of that blessing? If you didn’t have that right- or made a different choice- wouldn’t your life be meaningfully different? Isn’t it possible, or even probable, that you would be worse off?
I think it is easy for some of us to ignore the privileges we have in life that enable an unplanned pregnancy to become a positive event. But we need to understand that those privileges are not shared by everyone. Not everyone is able to choose how and on what terms they have sex. Not everyone is in a safe relationship or a safe home. Many people, especially young women and girls, don’t have access to good health care or sexual health eduction. And certainly, many young women don’t have strong financial and emotional support. That’s why trusting women like Hailey to evaluate where she is in her own life and to make the choice that is best for her is so important. Telling her she should have a child based on your expereinces and not her own, is deeply misguided.
Kate, Elizabeth just shared her personal story (thank you Elizabeth for doing so!) and yes, like it or not, she regrets her abortions. It doesn’t matter how it happened, whether it was by having more children or not, she regrets her choices, and probably suffered from that regret at some point in her life. How dare you say that she “made the right choice” because NOW she is happy? You just said that not everyone is privileged to make an unplanned pregnancy a positive event. LIKE Elizabeth. She was abused by her brother, and yet she still regrets her choice to have an abortion. You should pay attention to the guilt she feels and give her some compassion. And you accuse her of becoming “anti-choice”? Ummm.. she just said she regrets her CHOICE, she doesn’t say people shouldn’t have a choice. People can make the WRONG choice sometimes.
So if Hailey decides to have an abortion and if she ends up regretting it, she better not come to you, Kate, for any consoling.
Great Show BTW, I’m hooked. Can’t wait to see what happens. The comments people write are very interesting. Kate’s here was the first one that made me pretty disturbed.
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Ashley, let’s not assume that Kate is not compassionate. I think she is just looking at Elizabeth’s story from a different perspective than ours. I know I find it Really Hard to be objective when listening to other people’s points of view. That is what I find challenging about this Bump forum and why I keep coming back.
Kate, since I have worked with women and children who have been sexually abused, your comment about the fact that not everyone is able to choose how and on what terms they have sex really resonates with me. This is so very true, and I think it is a truth we, as a culture, need to wrestle with.
I believe there are women who-just as they had no choice about sex-also felt they had no other choice than to have an abortion. There is a woman named Lucy who shared her story under the first blog post “Blog: Share Your Story. Join The Conversation.” She does not come out and say she had no other choice, but her story seems to show that at the time this is the way she felt. Another woman on that same page named Anne describes being driven to the clinic by her Dad. Anne takes full responsibility for her decision in that story, but she was a minor at the time. I have read the testimonies of other women as well who felt they had no other choice than to have an abortion. What are your thoughts about finding ways to give those women alternative choices, such as financial and emotional support and/or adoption? My thought is that it would be helpful to women in crisis pregnancies to have a variety of options available to them. I would love to hear your thoughts.
May I encourage you to glance at Elizabeth’s story again? My sense of Elizabeth’s ending statement is that she is inviting women to embrace their child, and she is extending that invitation based on her own life experience. I could be wrong, but I didn’t interpret her words as being anti-choice.
Kate I think you make some excellent points, it’s such a shame when people look back and think if only, what if, I should have…but your life would be completly different had you made a different choice (about anything in life).
You are so right about health care and sex ed., NOBODY wants more abortions, so as a society I think our focus should be sex ed. and proper health care, as well as protecting young ppl from sexual abuse. I find it strange when ppl are anti-abortion and anti-sex. ed.
It’s interesting to read comments about my post; since it is just a snapshot view of 35 years of living, it makes sense that comments would be varied. My mother took me in for the abortion – I had not told anyone about the abuse; I hoped my brother would move away and I wouldn’t have to tell my parents about it. I was under anesthetic when the abortion was performed, and as I came out of the anesthesia in the recovery room I was swearing and yelling – I didn’t know I was doing that, and was shocked to be scolded quite severely by a nurse who informed me that I was “not the only person in here”! She seemed quite negative in her approach to me; I was a child who just underwent an abortion due to a sexually abusive situation, I longed for it all to be a bad dream, and for some comfort – but no one knew my real situation, which is true for many victims of sexual abuse. I was further shocked when the doctor started to write a prescription for birth control pills – for him, a pregnant 15 year old didn’t raise flags that something was wrong, just that I needed birth control. Needless to say, I refused the prescription, since my need was to escape abuse, not prevent pregnancy.
What disturbs me most throughout my lifespan has been the change in our culture as abortion became more and more common. People seem to think that women are unaffected by undergoing the procedure – that when it’s over, everything goes back to “normal”. That is so not true – not just for me, but for virtually all the women I’ve met who’ve undergone them. At some point, the grief overwhelms you. And there’s no ready avenues for dealing with it, since it’s supposed to be an acceptable choice. It’s as if we’ve decided since it’s legal, it’s somehow “safe” and without consequence. For me, bearing those children and giving them up for adoption would have been far less painful than knowing that I participated in ending their lives.
During one of my subsequent pregnancies, I was in an examining room at the doctor’s office having my pregnancy confirmed. So was a woman in the examining room next to mine. A nurse returned to my room and told me the test was positive. She then began to talk about my baby – when it was due, what I should do to ensure the best environment for the baby’s health, vitamins, a schedule of visits, etc. After she left, I started gathering my things to leave, and heard her go into the room next to mine. She told the woman there that her test was positive. There was a long moment of silence – then she began talking about scheduling an elective termination, the recommended time frame to do that in, the location options. Never once did she mention a baby. I couldn’t help but be struck by how we were two human beings with babies growing inside us – but one of us was spoken to in terms of the baby and their needs, and one of us was spoken to with intentional avoidance of any mention of the baby. Please reread what I just wrote – I am not offering a judgment, but an observation of the reality of that moment.
In my opinion, people must consciously choose to deceive themselves in order to abort – you must not think of the baby as a human being, or you couldn’t do it. And eventually, you come face to face with that lie. Left to itself, there is nothing else those cells could become EXCEPT another human being, and I have no more right to take their life before they are born that I do after their birth.
I’m not telling you what to think – just asking you to consider my thoughts. I appreciate this site for opening up the possibility of conversations like these.
Hailey, it seems like you are still in an immature place right on the cusp of what could be a life changing moment for you. Like the nurse said in episode 2, I’d like to see what happens when you’re on your own, your own two feet.
I feel like there’s a lot more to you then what we are seeing so far. I’m starting to get a feel for the person you are and I hope whatever your choice may be, you do what’s best for you.
I hope whatever choice she makes, she does what is best for her child.
She will do whatever is best for her and her family, whenever she decides to have one =)
I can really identify with you. I was in nursing school when I became pregnant with my daughter. Being pregnant didnt stop me one bit. Oh well life happens. Choose life and you will be blessed with someone very special.
I can’t believe that someone in the medical profession believes that birth is when a baby becomes human. There’s a gradual process from conception to birth. Some babies are born at 5 months and survive. (I’m not saying that they are human at conception, because they are not yet at that point).
I’m not sure that her bf is as bad as the other commenters seem to think he is. They are both into themselves (I was into myself too, before I had kids). Having this baby could change them in a positive way, force them to grow up. Yes, having a baby will interfere with her career plans, but it doesn’t mean that they’ll have to be cancelled entirely.
I’m most interested in this character. I think she represents a large majority of college aged women. If she were my friend I would definitely advice her to separate from her boyfriend, he’s very sketchy. Then I’d help her take a good look at her life and goals and see how a child fits into that. Adoption might even be an option.
Objective, wise, compassionate… <3
It seems to me that Hailey finally wants to have a baby and start a family. Her boyfriend on the other hand seems very immature and hopes she will abort the child. It appears she is trying/wanting to “grow” up (starting a nursing career, having a child, getting some stability and making her own decisions, etc.) but those around her keep controlling her life and her views. It just seems that she has allowed those around her to lead her life for her and now she has reached a point where she is ready to take back that power.
I don’t know if she is ready to do that just yet, but I hope you are right. Few things, other than the ultrasound, have indicated that she is willing to take control of her life. I really love this character, and it seems that she really wants to be a mom, and I would really hate for her to be coerced into having an abortion that she doesn’t really want. Although I’m sure she doesn’t regret the other ones, seeing as she has a great thing going with her school, I hope she keeps this one. She seems to already love it, and I would hate to see her regret what she does. I like what you’ve said. The observations you have made being a guy has made me much more comfortable. Many guys in this convo thing have been insulting Haley more than anything, and it’s great to see that you have made some great points!
I think that they should both grow up a little bit and keep it. I am 21 and had a boy in December. It changes a lot of things but I wouldn’t have wanted my fiance to abort it because he is the most adorable little man. In my opinion, nobody is really ready to become a parent but it is something that you learn and after you do, it is wonderful.
While I think it is fabulous that you have a child that you adore (congratulations!) I would like to point out that you didn’t have anything. Your fiance did all of the birthing, with her own body, and my best bet is that it was extremely painful! Not trying to insult, but having seen my mother give birth to my brother (11 years younger than me), it always bothers me when it seems that the credit for actually having the child isn’t given completely to the mother. Yeah, you both make, you both concieve, but she has/delivers the baby. And it is excruciating.
Please remember folks, this is FICTION, not a reality show.
We’re discussing the ideas behind the situations. How did you miss that? These people are actors but there are many people out there in the same situation. In reality.
I just wonder what effect seeing the baby on an ultrasound might make for Hailey?
I think that’s a really interesting point. I wonder if that will change things for her as well.
I think that a lot of women are in the same situation as Hailey because a lot of women are pressured into getting an abortion from their boyfriend. It’ll be interesting to see Hailey makes the decision for herself and not what her boyfriend wants her to do.
I good! Another guy who gets it! Yeah, absolutely! I really wish the bf would butt out. Her body, her motherhood/nonmotherbhood, her child. I would be ecstatic to see him really wanting to be a father, but he has no right to coerce her into making ANY decision.
I hope she makes the decision by herself. Slightly off-topic, but I have witnessed past friends of mine coerced into marriage, and some couisins too. I think the way families do that and the way Hailey’s bf coerces her are so similar. The outcomes of the choices she makes are being taken out of her hands, and it is shaping her life without her imput. Almost said without her consent, but SHE is the one that really needs to step up and take control.
There are definitely some interesting points being made. All I can add is that I think Hailey is very naive and hasn’t really allowed herself to be in control it seems. The boyfriend is trying to run the show and she let’s him rather than take the wheel. I think that’s playing a part in this for sure.
If I had to give her advice I’d start with thinking for herself and tell her to see where that takes her.
I agree.
I disagree, I feel like Hailey wants to keep the baby but her “logic” and boyfriend are telling her to “take care of it”. In episode one her boy friend was coaching her up, and she was playing along, but not initiating any of it. If she wants to be a nurse it means she has a nurturing side that she has recently tapped into. I think she can see herself being a good mom… something has changed in her, and something is different about this pregnancy than the other ones.
I really REALLY agree.
I disagree I think that Hailey is finally wanting to keep this baby because it is his baby and she thinks they could be the fairytale ending. However I think he has his mind made up and now she just wants to please him (in other words she is conflicted). Maybe they haven’t discussed it enough. You never know maybe once they hear that beautiful heartbeat and see their little miracle on the u/s screen, they will both grow up a bit and see beyond themselves.
While I aslo disagree with Miss Agnus and think that Hailey wants to keep the baby this time…
The baby is HERS not HIS. She is the one that not only makes up 50% or more of the childs genes with her egg, but she also grow it in her uterus for NINE MONTHS give or take a few weeks, and most mothers must ussually breast feed that baby for another few months up to two years!!!! It is a part of her body and soul/mind/intimate-life-experience, and although Jason is the father, it is MORE HER CHILD than it is his! She must inherently put more work into this child then he ever has to if they keep the baby. Besides, HE wants her to abort it! What claim of parenthood does he have? He obviously doesn’t even want the baby! When asked if she would choose between the baby or Jason, he wouldn’t even let her answer because, after that ultrasound, he could SEE that it was going to be the baby from there on out, and either he could accept that and be a part of the family or he couldn’t. But this is her baby now.
To me, Hailey seems like she’s already made her decision. Abortion seems like a done deal. If the audience chooses for her to keep her baby, it will be interesting to see what twist in the story changes her mind (and her boyfriend’s mind, since they both seem pretty decided already). This could be interesting.
Can the audience choose for her to keep the baby? How does that work?
I definitely think she should keep the baby, or give it up for adoption. Maybe on a lark she will say, “I just want to see what it is like to actually have the baby, and not an abortion.”
It would be nice to see a father who wants the baby. So far in all of these story lines it seems the father has no feelings for the baby. I know one dad who called 911 when he found out his girlfriend had had an abortion. He reported a murder. They had to explain to him that an abortion wasn’t considered a murder, even if he wanted the child. He was distraught and has worked to convince people that abortion is never the right choice ever since.
Hi Kris,
Thanks for your input. The way BUMP+ works, people share their stories and join in the conversation on the comment boards. Viewers’ comments shape the direction the story takes. I hope you join in!
Emily VonSydow
Associate Producer
That’s sad. Next time he should establish a relationship with someone who has the same or at least similar feelings of abortion as he does, I bet there will always be people who are anti-abortion. But he can’t just control his x-gf body. He just can’t. What would he do, have her arrested? It’s not like he can do anything about the abortion that already happened that he wasn’t happy about! That’s called expo facto, and that’s illegal in the US.
Actually, she called him crying because her father had taken her to the abortion clinic and made her go through with the abortion. Neither of them wanted it, but her father did. It was about 20 years ago, and abortions were not common yet. He didn’t even realize it was legal. He had just quit school and gotten a job so he could marry his girlfriend and they could be a family.
And even though the woman carries the baby, it is just as much his baby as hers. That kind of gets lost in the whole abortion discussion. Not all men are completely cold toward their offspring. There is something powerful about DNA in connecting men to their babies.
Oh, Liz!!! <3
I'm so sorry, that abortion sounds like a really dramatic experience! I just read your newer comment in this thread.
Well, it doesn't shock me that the doctor wasn't alarmed. You'd be surprised how many 14-19 year olds get abortions, simply because they followed their sexual urged. At 17, one of my closest friends had an abortion, and she's a year younger than me (can't say WAS, because she is STILL a year younger than me, lol).
But you have a point. Doctors should be asking questions and seeking therapuetic help for patients. While most people who get abortions do not regret it, even later down the road, it is cases like yours that makes me mad that the health care system doesn't require that doctors are constantly working with therapists, psychiatrists, and social workers. Not only in abortion clinics, but in cases were a person says thet had an "accident" but were really attacked. That being said, I know how hard it can be to talk to parents about things, especially when you know the brother would have made life worse for you and that often parents aren't understanding and chastise for things that weren't even your fault, but don't you think that in retrospect it would have been a better experience for you if you had told one of the doctors when you had a moment alone before the abortion? You might have been able to get help and discuss other options, and your brother wouldn't have been able to get away with the injustice he did to you.
Also, if abortion was a product of incest, your baby would have been likely to be very unhealthy. The repeat in common genes, while also increasing immunities sometimes, also increases liklihood of getting a genetic diseas, and sometimes the child is so dismembered due to very similar genes that they only live a few months or years anyways. I am soooo sorry *hugs*. Even though we don't believe in the same sort of thing (spiritually) I want you to know that you are in my prayers. I hope that you can be relieved of this anxiety, and I deeply encourage you to seek counseling from your church and to find a therapist or psychiatrist that will help you to deal with your past. Having your children there and letting them know that, while you regret the abortions, you love their existance and would not want them replaced, and having their hands in yours while helping to find peace with what has happened to you can be a great thing. I deeply believe that the children we keep are the greatist gifts to us in helping us to heal our lives, most of the time, and having catholic parents and born-again aunt & cousins, and having gone to CCD, I know that christianity teaches this too. I hope you can find peace <3 *hugs tightly*
Also, the pause you heard in AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ROOM could have been whispering. That breif pause could have been an “I can’t keep this baby” or a “what is the alternative to this?”. Although, in the last quotes, I would like doctors to mention adoption and donating the zygote/embryo to an infertile couple, most of the time the first thing doctors will say is that an abortion is the alternative, because it is much less expensive then IVF in many areas and it is a procedure that can be done by a doctor, thus something that they can help with. A doctor can’t really help a woman going through a hard time with social work, financing the bills and getting the food, or with the adoption agnecy.
That being said, if there really was nothing going on other than a pause… I find that pretty strange. I have many friends who have had babies, had abortions, had fertility therapy, many things, and I have never heard anything like this from them before. Maybe it is within particular social structures or groups that situations like that occur, I don’t know, but I really hope that if this sort of thing happens, it stops happening. It is very unfair and often damaging for a person to make an uninformed decision.
[COMMENT HAS BEEN EDITED]
Spelling error (man, my typos are outrageous!):
embryos
After watching through all of the episodes again, my wife and I think that the producers have left each of the women some positive options that do not include abortion.
Hailey’s issue also seems to be fear – fear of responsibility. She seems to have repressed her true feelings about all her abortions. She keeps repeatedly getting pregnant, but is totally unprepared to deal with the consequences of her actions. As for nursing school, please don’t portray that as an absolutely non-negotiable hang-up for having a baby. My wife just completed nursing school alongside several remarkable young women, some married, some single, who successfully completed a community college nursing course with brand-new babies – a couple of the women had twins – using child care, family, and friends to help support them through their schooling. They are all now successful Registered Nurses and mothers, contributing positively to our community and their own families, and didn’t let anyone tell them they couldn’t graduate from nursing school and take care of newborn babies at the same time. A truly empowering ending for Hailey would be to have her realize that she needs to take responsibility for the new life she’s set in motion, AND for her career – and that she can do both of these things at the same time.
The question is, will the producers choose to show us the truly hope-inspiring and empowering endings for these women? I guess we’ll find out in March.